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Modern Spa or Egyptian Mortuary?
By Veronica MacDonald Ditko
An Accidental Anthropologist
Who knew a trip to the spa can take you back in time? Although spas were originally Roman, a spa experience can feel more like being mummified in Ancient Egypt, hopefully minus the lobotomy.
The sweet smells of honey and almonds surround you, like the elaborate rubbing oils of Egyptian royalty. First there are scrubs to buff the skin and circular motions to relax the face. Mummies do seem really relaxed, don’t they? After all, mummification helped them pass on to a heavenly place.
Then hot steam hits the face to purify the skin. Soon after, a paste of cool seaweed is sculptured to your face and left to solidify. The lights go out as the final touch of cucumber slices are placed over the eyes. It feels like an Egyptian casket is being cast to fit your profile and the deed is nearly complete. Pictures of King Tutankhamen’s gold-painted tomb may flash through your mind.
As you lay in the dark, the wrapping begins. A heavy blanket, like a mummy’s shroud, is placed over you, followed by oven-type mitts over your hands. By then, your preservation is nearly done. It all smells so good and feels so good, you will think, I must be dead.
After some time passes, you will here human voices again, hopefully no one in the afterlife. And the gelatin-like mask is peeled from your face. It doesn’t resemble you at all, but you will be too preoccupied with the fact that you’re not dead.
After all of the elaborate rituals and time travel, the skin will feel extremely soft and supple. I wonder if the same happened to Ancient Egyptians before thousands of years passed and they got completely dried out. But you have to admit, they really do look good for being that old.
I just hope I grow old gracefully and never end up in an Egyptian tomb. Besides, I can’t read hieroglyphics, so I’d never find my way out.
Veronica MacDonald Ditko is originally from the Jersey Shore, but married and settled in northern New Jersey. Her journalism career started a decade ago after studying Psychology and Anthropology in Massachusetts. She has written for several newspapers and magazines including The Daily Hampshire Gazette, The Springfield Union News and Sunday Republican, Happi, Chemical Week, The Hawthorne Press, The Jewish Standard, and more.
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