How America will pay off its continually increasing debt has led to a debate as to whether the richest in America will pay more, or if the middle class will pay more.
There is has been little discussion as to whether smarter people or dumber people should pay more in taxes, and that’s a debate worth having.
Just as items like alcohol and cigarettes are taxed at higher rates in what is commonly known as a “sin tax” – certain items can have a “dumb tax” attached to them.
Items that are not a necessity, not a luxury, and can generally be described as stupid things can be taxed an additional 20%, 50%, 100% – hell – they can be taxed 500%.
The beauty here is that the demographic being taxed, dumb people, will not complain – on the contrary, they will see the additional tax as proof that their purchase is even more desirable.
The perfect opportunity to begin applying a dumb tax is on “smart appliances” since no one would suspect that a dumb tax is being applied to something considered smart.
Below is a compilation of some “smart items” that are potential candidates for the “dumb tax”.
First up is the Hapifork . The Hapifork, according to it’s website, “…is an electronic fork that…alerts you with the help of indicator lights when you are eating too fast…”. It also tells you how long it took to eat your meal, the amount of “fork servings” per minute, and even the time interval between “fork servings”.
This item is pretty dumb and deserving of a dumb tax. While on the surface it might appear to be benificial to adults who grew up in homes with no one nagging them to eat slower and chew their food, it is intrinsically dumb in that it can not discern whether you are constantly eating double fudge cake or a crispy salad.
The next item ready for the dumb tax is Panasonic’s Android Rice Cooker priced at $600. As consumers can now buy a rice cooker for only $15, or splurge for a high end rice cooker at $70, anyone ready to spend $600 for a rice cooker is ready to spend $2000 — once the $1400 dumb tax is added on to the price.
The Android rice cooker allows you to send it recipes from your cell phone, and it tells you how much electricity you are using. You can also adjust the cooking time if the rice is not cooked to your liking, but then you would need to be standing in front of it tasting the rice before knowing that.
A washer connected to the Internet – is a great idea for a dumb tax. It’s only $1600 – and worthy of at least a $2000 dumb tax which would bring the Smart ThinQ Washer to a very affordable $3600. If dumb people are willing to pay $1600, they will pay $3600.
According to the manufactured LG, “…you might just wonder if this washer is almost as smart as you“. Monitoring your wash while you are out at a party or having dinner with friends might seem like a good idea, but it’s not. Unless you have loaded the washer, put in detergent, and then walked away without turning it on — this smart washer really can’t help you.
Blacksocks is offering a deeper, more personal relationship with your black dress socks, and have developed what they consider the smartest socks in the world — meaning they are ripe for a dumb tax. Described as offering communication between your cell phone and your socks, consumers would know, “…which socks belong together, how often you have washed your socks… and help you buy new socks.”
This is a relatively affordable item that offers a starter kit of 10 pairs of socks for only $190. A low dumb tax of only $109 would bring these smart socks to a smart sounding $299.
Finally, we have the smart refrigerator from Samsung with prices ranging from $2,700 to $3,700, tax not included. If we apply the dumb tax, that raises the price to a still very affordable $5,700 to $8,700 – keeping it very attractive to dumb people who were always the primary target.
This smart refrigerator is pretty much a refrigerator with an iPad glued on it – just not that good. It is obviously designed either for children, or very short adults, who like to stand in front of the refrigerator for no apparent reason.
The smart refrigerator allows you to, “Check the morning weather, browse the web for recipes, explore your social networks or leave notes for your family—all from the refrigerator door.”
Most people might think a Post-it on the fridge door is more effective when leaving a note for family; and, most might find sitting down rather than standing hunched over at the fridge a more efficient way to surf the web.
The smart fridge — until it can indicate you are low on milk or that yogurt is going bad — really is pretty dumb and worthy of a hefty dumb tax.
Granted, the dumb tax might appear to target people with money to burn – but that is incidental. It is not a tax on the rich, but on the dumb.
The idea of the dumb tax, once tested on “smart appliances” can be expanded to regular items like the the LeBron X Nike Plus for $315 dollars. If someone is prepared to pay $315 for a pair of basketball sneakers, then they are certainly ready to pay $500 for the same sneakers.
Tax the dumb, they won’t know it – and if they do, they will probably like it.