Editor’s Note: We would like to thank Veronica for her wonderful columns she brought to the FLOW Community each month for the past 5 years. We wish her all the best in her new career. Cheers Veronica MacDonald Ditko!
A Shout Out for the Unemployed
By Veronica MacDonald Ditko
An Accidental Anthropologist
Unemployment sucks. Don’t believe me? See the many blogs dedicated to this fact. It’s not just an opinion. It’s a fact.
But I feel wallowing in anger and sadness doesn’t really help. I went through all motions of losing my main job in February 2012. It was the same stages as a person goes through in grief. Sort of.
Unlike grief, I was ecstatic at first. I felt I had so much time to do what I wanted. I had time to be with my kids. I could see old friends. I could clean up corners of my house. I could write a book. But those ideas were quickly erased after my severance ended and I got my first unemployment check. It was ridiculously little. Apparently it was based on the salary I had, which had been really good until I had kids and went to part-time.
Reality check. My husband and I needed to cut spending and fast from our already very frugal existence. This was a long process that occurred while I was learning about how to comply with unemployment, find work, promote myself, and have kids home more. None of that is compatible together. Believe me.
Next stages: anger and depression. The little voices inside my head started to doubt me. Was it me? Was it something I did? What’s wrong with me? And the worst part: getting short tempered with my kids. I’m not excusing it. In fact it was at this point I should’ve carved out some more me-time. Some exercise. Something. I did try some self-help unemployment groups. But they weren’t for me. I got tired of hearing all the venting. Oh and I got a little boost from St. John’s Wort. I’m not ashamed to admit that.
Next stage: illness. Once school got out that year, I had kids with me all the time. And everything else on top of that. It stressed me out to no end and I got sick.
During that illness, I actually started a temporary job that I found through a friend. But it came to an end. Then the depression hit again as I looked for more permanent work. I tried little things that were so degrading (aka certifiably insane editors and serving people who spit on me). All the while I tried to be pleasant and still have a shred of dignity. But eventually something had to give.
Now this is not a sad story. Here’s the good part. As I was waltzed into the municipal building one day, I saw there was a job posting board. I’d never noticed it before. And it actually had a job on it that described me to a T. I applied half-heartedly, because I’d been through this before. Except this time I got the job. Why it didn’t happen many other times I don’t know, but this time the planets aligned for me.
What’s the secret? I don’t know. But I do know at that point in time, I was happy and accepting of my situation. So in the interview I wasn’t desperate. I knew I had those terrible jobs to fall back on. And I’d had so many interviews, both good and bad, that I had enough practice under my belt.
It also helped that the interviewers knew me. They knew my work ethic and my priorities. So maybe all that promoting worked in the end. I may never know. But at least there’s hope.
It’s with this column that I am saying goodbye for now. I have written this column for 5 of the most crazy years of my life. It began shortly before the birth of my second son. And my life changed dramatically with him, with the economy and with the realization that my career is in a holding pattern. But if it gives me more time with my little ones, I’m totally ok with that.
Veronica MacDonald Ditko is originally from the Jersey Shore, but married and settled in northern New Jersey. Her journalism career started a decade ago after studying Psychology and Anthropology in Massachusetts. She has written for several newspapers and magazines including The Daily Hampshire Gazette, The Springfield Union News and Sunday Republican, Happi, Chemical Week, The Hawthorne Press, The Jewish Standard, Suite101.com and more.