The number of luring reports in northern New Jersey has now reached 15. Some towns have reported multiple incidents, and fortunately most towns have reported none.
Still, the widespread and apparently random locations have left most parents of Bergen County children on edge. The most recent report is coming from Bergenfield.
As noted by Cheif Fox of Wyckoff in his annual Halloween safety message, the number of luring incidents being reported is unprecedented; and, the reported incidents are a reminder to parents that their prime responsibility is ensuring the safety of their children.
The threat of “stranger danger” is real, and the age of the Internet has created new opportunities to make it more real. In most situations where a stranger abducts a child, their intent is that this child will never see home again – one way or another; and, that is a terrifying fear.
But parents should also be aware that it is rare, recent statistics point to under 120 successful stranger abductions in the United States annually; most children are at risk of abuse or abduction from people they know.
The dangers presented by strangers are real, but the greatest danger comes from those that offer the child some sense of familiarity or trust.
Still, the Internet has provided opportunities for deviant minds to gather into “support groups”. It is not just the propagation of child pornography, but support expressing that their behavior as somehow normal. A New York Times article back in 2006 warned of the extensive nature of these support groups when it reported,“Repeatedly in these conversations, pedophiles said the discussions had helped them accept their attractions and had even allowed them to have sex with a child without guilt.”
The recent reports of luring in northern NJ, with varying descriptions of suspects, could be explained by individuals who do support each other. The flood of news reports and public awareness do not seem to have deterred the suspects, this would indicate that the potential perpetrators are not fearful of being caught — and that lack of fear makes them even more dangerous.
It is also necessary to examine another possibility. This is that the initial reports have led to a form of mass hysteria. A small number of luring reports have been proven illegitimate, and others are lacking in enough facts to determine exactly what occurred.
The multiple luring reports in northern New Jersey, which began in mid-September, cannot be discounted; but, it is also responsible to consider whether a sense of mass hysteria is resulting – and what affect that has on communities.
Keeping children safe – especially from deviants known to be both active and brazen – evokes our strongest urges to protect. The Journal encourages all parents to be extra vigilant this Halloween, and during this time of anxiety….but, do remember better days.
Children have the right to be children, to explore their world, to “hang out”, go with friends, walk to school, play in the woods. Every game of football need not be organized, every game of catch should not need have a coach present, and bike riding and skateboarding should not be limited to times when an adult can be present.
It is important to remember better days, and provide children with a childhood that allows them to grow, allows them to explore, and allows them the opportunities so many parents today enjoyed in their own childhood.
Today, in the midst of a revolution in communication, we need better communication. We need to communicate our fears, but also communicate trust. We need to communicate clearly the rules children must follow to earn adult trust, and impose consequences when that trust is broken.
Children learn freedom by experiencing it – they cannot learn it in a book, or from TV, or on the Internet. Children must learn to appreciate and respect their freedoms, and lose those freedoms when the trust is broken. This is how parents can work to keep them safe and help them grow.
Children should know that they are more likely to be killed by a car than abducted by a stranger. Parents should know that their children are more likely to commit suicide than be abducted by a stranger. There are other fears and worries that should be shared that pose a statistically greater threat than child abduction.
Drowning, poisoning, fire, accidental strangulation or firearm discharge, are all dangers that result in preventable deaths.
Communication, on a regular basis, is important in reminding children of dangers that can protect them from strangers, from accidents, and from abuse by people who are familiar to them.
Children must be taught to assess risk, confront challenges, reach out for help, and learn to live in a world that is far from perfect – but their world nonetheless.
Links:
Abduction and Harm Prevention Tips for Parents and Guardians