Starting a discussion on Mental Illness


depressiondiscussionAt the Mayor and Council Meeting 3/25/2015, George Gorman voiced his concerns about the ability to bring awareness to the residents of Oakland (especially teenagers) resources available for people who suffer from mental illness – whether it be depression, anxiety, disorders, etc. that effect 1-4 people – and this has been linked to drug and alcohol abuse. It is with a very heavy heart that he expressed the devastation of losing his son, Zack, to suicide just over a month ago. I travel this journey with George because I will forever be linked to the memory of his son, because Zack was my daughter’s boyfriend for the last two years. He was a very kind, soft spoken and respectful person that you wouldn’t mind dating your daughter. I know that he had just lost his 19 year old sister to leukemia – whom he had donated bone marrow to twice to prolong her life – just before he started dating Nicole. My daughter had been there to help him thru all the firsts without his sister, her 1st birthday- his 1st birthday – all the first holiday’s – thanksgiving – Christmas – Easter. In hindsight, I see that Zack replaced all his happiness, hopes, dreams and love that he had for this sister with the love he had for my daughter. As you can imagine, my family was devastated by the fact that at just 18 years old Zack felt as if he could not heal from the guilt of not being able to save his sister that he chose to end his life.

You may ask yourself how do these parents get up everyday and function – losing two children in just two years? It is because of this that I am trying to find the strength for my daughter and help George find a way to honor his son. When he lost his daughter he started The Jillian Fund (www.thejillianfund.org) which is a non profit whose mission is to help financially support families of children who have a life-threatening illness and also provide a scholarship fund. To date they have raised over $50K and have helped 9 families financially by paying bills and whatever it takes to allow them to spend time at the hospital with their sick kids. They do this in conjunction with Hackensack Hospital – please visit the website it tells an amazing story about a young girl faced with a devastating disease.

George is now on a mission to honor this son, who suffered from depression – and it is George’s goal to help teenagers who may also feel there is no other way out. I attended the seminar at Ramapo College that he spoke about at the Council Meeting, it was sponsored by a mother and father who lost their son, TJ, 16 years old to suicide just 4 years ago and now they have made it their mission to bring awareness to parents and children of some of the signs and symptoms – again bringing awareness to a very serious epidemic. Their plight is also to help someone who may be feeling this way or know someone feeling this way to get the help they need and not travel this journey alone. Please read more about his program: http://www.caringforourchildrenfoundation.org/remembering-tj-program-sheds-light-on-teen-depression-in-jefferson/

Zack had spent last summer and this past winter working for the Oakland DPW – he really enjoyed working outside and was proud of the job that he did – I was extremely happy to see his co-workers show up to pay their respects at his wake – along with what seemed like a hundred of his fellow classmates. I would like to think he was with us and felt loved and is resting in peace with his sister.

I hope that George is successful in sparking an interest with the Town Council and Oakland BOE to have interactive assemblies for the students with live speakers who command a question and answer session- not just a program which implements a brochure to be picked up at the guidance councilors office. We need to educate the parents and children that mental illness should not come with a Stigma, but should be recognized as a serious illness that could result in preventable devastation for any family.

Thank you for the platform – and please look at the links I have attached – also helpful: www.erikaslighhouse.com this is a link that Steve Sefic shared in his presentation on a website where teens talk about depression.

Gina Steele