Generation upon generation passes down certain values, and one value consistently taught, encouraged and hailed is that of fairness.
We teach our children to be fair – even though life itself is not fair.
In Oakland schools, we celebrate fairness as a pillar of character; in Oakland Recreation, fairness is fundamental – for players and coaches. We teach fairness, we insist on fairness, and sometimes we demand fairness knowing full well that life is not fair, the world is not fair.
We believe in fairness like we believe in love. Scientists might talk about the laws of attraction, but we know that love exists beyond pheromones. Fairness is sometimes defined by rules, but we know it extends beyond that – it is something not found in a rule book, we know it when we see it.
When bad things happen to good people, we know it is not fair – and yet we continue to believe in fairness, we continue to teach it, we continue to promote it.
It is human to seek answers, to try and understand why the fairness we value so much is not always reflected in life. Sometimes through religion we find the ultimate fairness by attributing the incomprehensible as being part of God’s plan; or, we explain it as part of a mysterious karmic cycle of life.
We honor virtues like Love, Honesty, and Fairness, believing that God will judge us by these virtues; or alternatively, we may believe our virtues allow us to live on long after we have passed – either way, our virtues are based on faith and not science.
We teach fairness in a world that is not fair because we somehow know it is right. Fairness is different than justice, because fairness comes from the heart: we can justify fairness, but not prove its worth; we can see it, but not touch it; we can feel it, but not fully explain it.
Like the miracle of Love, our devotion to fairness cannot be explained, nor can it be denied; but, we continue to believe in it, promote it, and praise it.
Why do we teach fairness in a world that is not fair? Because, whether one is a Christian, a Muslim, a Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, or atheist, we have all bet our faith on it .
We all know life is not fair – we all know life is something much more than fair – and so we seek, promote, encourage, and teach fairness in pursuit of that something which cannot be explained, cannot be known…only believed in.
I know what you are talking about. The answer is faith and peace to the boy and his family as their faith will reunite them.